derpy hooves is my spirit pony

#lemme give you a rundown of my life #i’ve spent 60 years in the wilds of the north being a god damn ranger #i’ve tracked down motherfuckin gollum and brought him to mirkwood #do you know what mirkwood is #do you know the kind of spiders that live there #yeah i thought not #i have battled orc armies in THREE CONSECUTIVE MOVIES #I HAVE RAN ACROSS THE FIELDS OF ROHAN #do you know how big that is #it’s like the english countryside but as big and as wide as motherfuckin canada #(i’m guessing) #i have battled the RINGWRAITHS. ya that’s right. all nine of them. WITH A TORCH. AND FOUR HOBBITS WIELDING TOOTHPICKS. #with the one ring as bait #i have been dragged down a cliff by a fuckin warg #i have summoned the armies of the dead to defeat the corsairs of umbar #i have lived a hard motherfuckin life and if you think bad dental hygiene will scare me then bitch the only scary thing about that is the amount of STDs i can catch if i stick my tongue in your mouth #go home. you’ve been dismissed.

Reblogged 3 months ago from rogue-angel (Originally from shephards)
26,498 notes
Tagged: LotR, .
Source: shephards
  1. zombiemcqueen reblogged this from wattsworth
  2. momentsunforgetable reblogged this from stepchildofthesun
  3. wattsworth reblogged this from ruddyowls
  4. ruddyowls reblogged this from bettercrazythanboring
  5. takezomusashi reblogged this from bolt-the-badass-graduate
  6. cartoonsandcaffeine reblogged this from bettercrazythanboring
  7. teamplayerhasook reblogged this from tsuri-the-rogue
  8. nightxade reblogged this from bettercrazythanboring
  9. daramakoza reblogged this from tsuri-the-rogue
  10. bettercrazythanboring reblogged this from poisonousstrawberries
  11. tsuri-the-rogue reblogged this from bolt-the-badass-graduate
  12. eunoia--euvoia reblogged this from bolt-the-badass-graduate
  13. bolt-the-badass-graduate reblogged this from poisonousstrawberries
  14. utterlydeceptivetwaddlespeak reblogged this from poisonousstrawberries and added:
    Aragorn is the master of “bitch please”.
  15. sexualtardis reblogged this from stepchildofthesun
  16. poisonousstrawberries reblogged this from stepchildofthesun and added:
    that is like the greatest bitch please face tho
  17. stepchildofthesun reblogged this from starksnark
  18. celeloriel reblogged this from attackedastoria
  19. smimsandbelle reblogged this from stuckonalexspuzzle
  20. stuckonalexspuzzle reblogged this from anything-but-coy
  21. anything-but-coy reblogged this from igenmarie and added:
    Aragorn’s inner thoughts: “Bitch brush your teeth.”
  22. oddwildflowers reblogged this from the-devil-has-shotgun
  23. e-sil reblogged this from luckysquid
  24. bittersweetbrunette reblogged this from arya-baratheon
  25. heretherebebutterflies reblogged this from the-devil-has-shotgun
  26. bearded5yearold reblogged this from the-devil-has-shotgun and added:
    I’m the king of Gondor bitch!!
  27. the-devil-has-shotgun reblogged this from l-block
  28. ficklechild reblogged this from rainbowpoopies
  29. xiphoniii reblogged this from rainbowpoopies
  30. rainbowpoopies reblogged this from arya-baratheon
  31. lobomangaka reblogged this from bajolaforjadelcielo
  32. letsdorocksteady reblogged this from bajolaforjadelcielo
  33. caststone reblogged this from victoriaxavier
  34. moxzh reblogged this from deadmaninablackparade
  35. smeagolsprecious reblogged this from freyarising
  36. kusahari reblogged this from lainteligenciamepersigue
  37. freyarising reblogged this from licensetocreep